A professional conflict that I experienced last school year
involved myself and my department chair (DC). My DC was the previous
nursery/child care director and decided that she no longer wanted to be in charge
of the nursery in order to alleviate some of her workload. When I became the
nursery director I arranged the director’s office in a manner that would make
it more functional for me as well as provide a safe exit for the preschool
children to use in case of emergency. (My office is in between two classrooms
that connect). One day I walked into my office and saw a table was back in the
office. I removed the table and placed it back. When the DC arrived she came
into my office to make copies and then asked me about the table outside. I
informed her that someone had placed the table in the office and I removed it because
I did not need it. She then told me she placed the table in the office so she
could have a place to work when her classroom was occupied in the morning. I informed
her that I did not want the table in the office as it made the office cluttered
and would make the exit route unsafe. The DC then began to verbally personally
attack me and my decision to not have the table in the office. As a result of
being verbally attacked I became defensive resulting in an argument.
Looking back on this event and after learning about managing
conflict, nonviolent communication and the 3 R’s I would have handled the situation
in the following manner instead:
1.
Focus on the issue (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012) –
I should have made it clear that the reason for the office being rearranged and
for me not wanting the table was to ensure the safety of the children. Not to
keep her out of her old office or to “shut her out.”
2.
Considered Options and Alternatives (O’Hair
& Wiemann, 2012) - I should have
suggested that she could go work in the Teachers Longue on their computers and
tables when she needed a place to work.
This school year I plan to not use the Escapist Strategy and
make sure that I am communicating and not avoiding having conversations that
need to be had. I will make sure that I am considering the other persons
feelings and focuing on the issues and not who is “right or wrong.”
O'- Hair, D., & Wiemann,
M. (2012). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
Andrea,
ReplyDeleteGreat posting. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I think you have chosen to utilize two strong and effective strategies, two of which I admire and would like to utilize in my communication, as well. I agree with your thoughts on the Escapist Strategy - sometimes I act in this way to avoid or prevent conflict from arising or becoming worse when in reality it is better to discuss it professionally and handle the situation appropriately. Thank you for sharing.
Ashley Richards
Thank you for sharing your story with us. It is very important to communicate with others to avoid conflict. Often times people have a way of doing things and do not like change. If they would communicate things in a different way then everyone can be on the same page.
ReplyDeleteAndrea, I can relate to your experience. I have a thing where I like to place things in the most functional way (for me at least) and when people change them makes me really mad. You have helped me see things from another perspective. I will be more aware of the strategies you propose next time I face a situation like that. Thanks for sharing :)
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